Hurricanes

Let me not turn away
From happiness or pain
Just not to run away
In my heart and in my head
Let me face
Hurricanes

We live in a mad, absurd world, that lacks human or divine justice. We struggle to exist, to live, to cope with our bodies, our diseases, with the corruption, with the injustice. “Injustice”, I think, is the key word here.

We fight. We carry our inner wars, we fight with our tiredness, our pain, our fragility. We fight with the system, with what other humans achieved and destroyed with their money and relations. We fight to make a difference, we fight for a better job, we fight for justice. We fight even when we know we don’t have a chance.

My kind of writers, my kind of people, have always been the few ones, the ones that “carry the fire” in a meaningless, cruel, violent, apocalyptic world, ‘cause I think we are closer to our own destruction than ever. There are times, however, that I feel that I have been struggling for too much. With a wrong system, with a cruel divinity (or lack of it), with a corrupted country, with my own body. Feeling like chasing after bits of warmth even when I know they are not real, not there. Feeling like screaming, and punching, and running away. Feeling like a volcano on the verge of explosion because of the intensity of my own feelings – what, dear, absent God, should I do with them?

I wish I always had the power to face the sound and fury, to face hurricanes, to be me in this futile world … I wish to be able to live, to understand “the role I’ve been given”, to find a meaning in all this meaningless.

Dear world, dear God, let me be. And let me live.