In family we find our heaven and
hell, our construction and destruction, our blissful moments and/or most
ever-lasting traumas. One of the questions that haunted me for ages was why children, in the end, take after the traits of the parent that hurt
them the most. Why at a certain age one was deeply hurt by a particular behaviour
and after a couple years, the child who is now the grown-up behaves exactly in
the same manner as their parent, inflicting in his turn on their own child – or
beloved one – the same treatment.
While writing my B.A. paper, I found one answer to this in Adler’s psychology. We are creatures of
habits, of patterns, and to get away from those patterns is a fight, perhaps
also a trauma per se. I guess one other reason for embracing the unembraceable
is love, and paradoxically, memory and pain.
Succession, a TV series that I have
been watching for a while, seems to play with my question, going with and
against these patterns. And I guess that for all of us – either if we choose to
take the easy route, or to fight our own demons, everything is summed up to
this: “I can’t forgive you. But it’s okay. And I love you.”