2025 was the year where I
tested my own limits and showed myself what I can do. It is the year where I
embraced my independence and fully enjoyed it, professionally and personally. It
is the year, that conscientiously, I started growing and wishing more.
It is also the year that hit
the hardest in the last couple of years. Yes, right now I feel like sitting in a
storm, in the middle of the sea, staying on my feet, but surrounded by huge
waves of water, ready at any moment to swallow me. And I keep on fighting this,
scared at the same time that this time is too much. It is the year that hurt
like hell, and opened that locked door, where my hypervigilance was locked.
Didn’t miss it at all.
And here, down, in this abyss
of the sea, I saw and felt that there are still humans who can see me. Some of
them, old friends, here as pillars of my foundation, present here, maybe not as
intense as in the past, but as a “pain in the knee”, knowing that you can count
on them. And I am truly grateful for that.
2025 has been the year when I
finally made that step towards Home, towards others like me. Because the bottom
of the sea is full of people who struggle. With the past, with their traumas,
with their pain. People who don’t want to talk about the core, their roots,
although they we are highly defined by it, since it’s the source of our
energy. The greater the Super-Ego, the greater the ID.
And this is the lesson, the
reminder, that 2025 brought me. We are all energy, both positive and negative.
And we all have the agency to choose between these two. Empaths and narcissists
are on the same line, born from the same chaos, but each chooses something
completely different when it comes to the vulnerability they see in others. One
creates and becomes a wall of protection for the vulnerable, while the other uses the power of others’ vulnerability as a source for their own power.
Because paradoxically, vulnerability is power. It is we who choose what to do
with that chaos/that Beast inside of us, to flip the coin or not: to change
that tremendous pain into a tremendous positive (or negative) energy, into
something that we keep on building (or destroying), keep on giving (or taking).
And paying it forward, teaching others to do the same.