Emotional burnout

It feels like a deep will of feelings where you search for some water, but you really have to go deep into it. It feels like exhaustion. Like every action, that you used to take so easy now it comes with thousands of chains and questions. It feels like begging for help, but no one is hearing you. I just want to stay, to rest, to take a break from life, and just stop. Just for one moment, just for a day, but stop. Breathe. Away, in silence, away from the crowd. It feels so deep and you have to fight it so hard. And you wish for someone, anyone, to give you back that 1% of empathy by just telling you "I can see you, it will pass". 

Untamed

“I am enough”. I have been hearing this phrase several times in the last months. People struggling to find themselves, to be enough for themselves, able to live in a world without others.

There are times for me when I need to be alone. To breathe. To enjoy the silence. To listen to it, to unplug from the hustle and buzzle of normal life, of deadlines, of always taking care of others, of thinking of others. Those times when you finally are in a pool of strangers, only you and your silence. And in these times you actually see the Others, you feel them around you, you feel that you belong there, being part of a larger group, although all the people around you are strangers. Perhaps they don’t even see you, as you used not to see them - the grey ghosts in a sea of blind colours. It is the moment when you go back to your inner self and enjoy your own company.

From a time that I actually don’t remember, I have been enough. No need of talks, of pseudo-books, of confessions. No need of relieving traumas, because they are there, in the core, but incorporated in your DNA, acknowledging your own limits, gaining strength from it. The Shadow Beast from which everything else emerges.

We have always been untamed. Always wanting to belong, seeking connection, always dreaming of a normal life, but always wanting to keep our core, our independence, our wilderness. Untamed.