Every time that we fall, we are thirsty of life. We all want to be “forever
young”, to chase after dreams, to fulfill them, to have energy for thousands of
things and actions … We feel life rushing through our veins, words rambling in
our imagination, we feel that we can climb any mountain, that we have time to
cry, to procrastinate, to be happy,to write ... time for friends, for us, for everything
and everyone … Until, one day, we, our bodies, our minds, simply stop. So why don't we let life simply flow?
We have all the time
in the world … that would be nice, wouldn’t it?
"Twenty-five years I'm alive here still Trying to get up that great big hill of hope For adestination"...
De
fiecare data, cand incerc sa asez ceva pe pagina alba, gandurile se rup, se
,,incolatacesc” intre ele, cuvintele se duc de-a dura si parca nu mai spun ceea
ce vreau eu ... Niciodata nu am putut intelege cum unii oameni se pot aseza in
fata laptopului sau a unei pagini albe si incep sa scrie automat, trecand de la
un subiect la altul, un anumit numar x de articole pe zi, de recenzii, de
povesti... Ma lupt de ceva saptamani bune cu mine insami de a aseza un simplu
cuvant pe-o pagina, de a imi ordona gandurile, de a ma lasa sa simt ceva. Ma
deranjeaza caietele clasice, cu foi prea subtiri sau prea groase, fara spirale,
camera prea tacuta sau prea sonora, oamenii care vin si pleaca. Sunt zile in
care nu pot ingana nimic. Zile in care imi caut creionale mecanice si descopar
ca nu mai am niciunul functionabil sau ca le-am pierdut pe toate si nu ma indur
sa mai pornesc la drum ... la fel ca acum.
Stii
visurile acelea pe care le aveam cu totii cand eram mici, jocurile noastre,
toate acele lucruri, la care visam, si credeam, in naivitatea si ignoranta
noastra, ca se vor indeplini? Emotiile care se trezeau in noi si ceea ce
simteam atunci cand eram noi cu noi insine ... Giving up has never been an
option, but one day it remains the only thing left ... What do we feel then?
Wanting
to scream from the top of your lungs, in your construction,
deconstruction, self-destruction, wanting to jump into a car and drive with
200 Mph, feeling numb, insane, and furious, wanting to hit everything and
everyone, wanting to do everything you haven’t done so far, wanting to fall
into this Silence ...
